Let the Hormones Begin

            It seems my body has decided to be even less cooperative than before. It has been over a month since I was prescribed clomid, and almost 60 days since the start of my cycle. Clomid is use to make a woman ovulate and is started between days 3 and 5 of a cycle.  I have been anxiously awaiting the start of my cycle and renewed hope to start a family. I was hopeful that we had gotten pregnant on our own, but with multiple negative tests I was realistic that it wasn’t likely. Yesterday, I had a blood test just to confirm and sure enough it was negative. Since my body has been unable to start a cycle on its own that means more hormones. I was prescribed Provera, which is medroxyprogesterone. Basically it will “trick” my body into starting a cycle, and I am excited about that (who would have ever thought). What I am not excited about is the side effects. If you know me well enough, you know I research the heck out of everything and anything, which of course I did a long time ago when I thought I might have trouble getting pregnant. As with any drug, side effects vary but for goodness sakes pumping the body with hormones isn’t fun for anyone. There are over 20 side effects listed by the manufacturer alone. And to top it off shortly after I stop the Provera I’ll start the Clomid with no guarantee.

            I want to stop for a second and address the fact that I am not looking for pity. I feel very fortunate that I have these resources available to me and many couples have been trying much longer than we have. The reason I started this blog was as a sort of self-therapy and to raise the awareness of how common this issue is. Many women (and couples) that struggle with infertility live in the shadows with their difficulties. They fear the judgment that comes with fertility treatments from so many people, the unknowingly hurtful comments people make, the blame (that this is somehow their fault), and the general misunderstanding. This article from MSNBC does a great job of addressing the silence and the affects it can have (and the confrontation that goes along with the subject follows in the comments). And Mary’s journal  states some of the insensitivities that come with infertility. We haven’t even been on this journey a year but have already experience some of the hurtful reactions from people. These are the reasons I have decided to not be silent about our struggle, like anything we can only learn if we share. Some people are insensitive because they are ignorant and others because they simple don’t care. My story is only just beginning and the infertility may be short lived for us or it may last for years. So I hope some will use this information to further their own education on infertility, to share their story, or just know they are not alone.

            Right now I’m trying to time my medications for times when I’ll have a few less responsibilities and can just be “moody.” I’ll let you know how it goes.