Back at the Starting Line

So here we are again, at the start of another round. Last time I updated we were in the middle of a cycle and had just finished the second ultrasound. After a third ultrasound and more blood work, things still were not progressing as desired. Instead of giving up completely the hMG dosage was increased to two injections a day, but it might not have been enough, bringing us back to the starting line once again.
            I know I have complained about endometriosis a lot but part of the reason I do is that I want you to understand that it is a very real disease. I kept silent for years because I believed the lies that I was just weak and everyone had “bad periods”. Not true. When a woman has endometriosis it can take over her life, she’ll miss school/work, avoid social situations, and suffer physical and emotional pain. For a few months after my surgery I got to experience what I would call an endometriosis free life, it was refreshing and exciting but short lived. Now about a year and half later I am almost back to my pre-surgery state. It is a little hard to take especially when it starts affecting others. My husband and I spent the weekend at the lake and I was not a lot of fun because I did not feel well but I sucked it up and put on a good show, I learned to master that a long time ago. The façade could only last so long as my body got the best of me. After multiple trips to the bathroom, which I use to think was caused by IBS – but is more than likely endometrial lesions on my intestines, I lied in bed crying from the pain. When I could not take it anymore I woke up my friend at four in the morning in hope that some fresh air would help. I felt so bad for waking her up and even though I know I would try to do the same for her, I cannot repay her for all she has done along this journey for me. My husband I ended up sleeping curled up in the back of our SUV because I felt better outside. And I am saddened by the fact that things should not be this way, endo is not something we talk about because we are afraid to offend someone by talking about “woman problems”. For that reason research and treatment is underfunded and slow, we have no problem talking about breast but talk about menstrual cycles and people do not want to hear it.  I have had people tell me that my blog is TMI (too much information) but that is part of my point. I did not choose to have endometriosis and I should not suffer because the problems it causes make others uncomfortable, it makes me uncomfortable too. This puts it in perspective, “‎If 7 million men suffered unbearable pain with sex and exercise and were offered pregnancy, castration or hormones as treatment, Endo would be a national emergency to which we would transfer the defense budget to find a cure.”-Nancy Petersen, RN, ERC Advisor, Internationally recognized advocate.
         Now that I am sure you have had enough of my ranting, a little on our current state. I had an ultrasound today which a required a lot of phone calls and waiting, but it got done. I’ll start the injections tomorrow at 1.5 ampules and then get another ultrasound in a week. Praying that this is our time.