Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

     Well, the past few days have been stressful. At times I feel like it has been weeks rather than days. Last cycle was unsuccessful so we started our eight round of treatment, and we started right away. After much miscommunication with the RE’s office and the amazing compassion of the ob/gyn’s office we got things squared away (between Monday and Tuesday I spent about 2 hours on the phone). This time we are taking a “more aggressive” approach. The ultrasounds started at the beginning of the cycle, with one on Tuesday and another one this Monday. The idea is with multiple ultrasounds throughout the cycle we can watch how my body is reacting to the medication. We start with the injections immediately and I’ll also be getting an estradiol test with the next ultrasound. Estradiol is a hormone that aids in follicle growth among other things. The results from Monday will indicate what the next step in treatment will be, it is rather nerve racking when we don’t know what is coming next.

    I also so herbalist again and it is amazing how she can understand my body. Hopeful the combination of supplements and medications will be the answer. I have not been coping well with the physical effects of this journey. As I have stated in the past my endometriosis is only getting worst and I’ve barely been able to operate this time around. I just keep hoping it is worth it. I hate that all the different mixes of hormones has made me look like a teenager with uncontrollable acne. I know it isn’t my fault and there is not much I can do about it since most acne treatments are not advised for those pregnant or may become pregnant. But as I told Jeremy, I cannot wear a sign that say “I have acne because I am infertile.” Then my weight fluctuates depending on where I am in the cycle. It is only a few pounds but with my small frame I am able to notice even if others don’t. Again, a small price to pay for fulfillment of a dream and some of the less talked about effects of infertility. It is probably obvious that I am not in the most positive of mood at the moment. I keep praying that we are doing the right thing and everything will have a purpose in the end. I’ll be sure to post a small update early next week with what the plan is from here.