Triumphs and Struggles

I haven’t written for awhile because to be honest I was trying to keep my mind off of this whole process, which I was pretty unsuccessful at. I had an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago with great news, I had one mature follicle. We were super excited but that also meant that it was time for the trigger shot. Trust me you don’t even want to know how much one of those cost. What were we to do? It’s not like I can be like “Hey body, can you hang on for a second while I get some money together?” So we bit the bullet and hoped for the best. I got the shot and it wasn’t too bad, I think the price hurt more than anything. Even though I’m taking progesterone supplements they were able to test my progesterone levels a few days later. It is a little funny and comforting when the one nurse calls with results because you can tell by her tone whether it is good news or bad. This time it was good news. The level was above 20 which means I ovulated, maybe for the first time ever. It was a big change from less than 1 last cycle. That is where the good news stopped, it looks like this still isn’t our time. It is discouraging and frustrating and yet again I contemplate our options. We will meet with our midwife on Monday to decide on the next steps in the process for us, which I’m looking forward to.

            In the mean time I have talked with my advisor and we have deicide that it is best to make this semester as easy as possible for me. So, I’ll be taking 3 classes instead of the 5 I took last semester, and one may even be pass/fail. I’ll only have to make the drive twice a week which will be nice. We decide to focus our efforts on keeping me healthy and helping this process in any way we can, but I also struggle with how long we can keep it up. I can’t go to school forever…although that is the running joke in our family.

It would be great if it worked in the next few months but what if doesn’t, many couples struggle with infertility for years.

 I feel like a broken record, but before you think there are lots of ways to build a family and that it will happen when it is suppose to please recall what I’ve say in the past.  Many options are all consuming: financially, physically (at least for me), and emotionally. I know a lot of people have opinions about fertility treatments and how they should be handled, especially in the faith community. Again, we believe God has a plan for all of this and we pray about this daily probably even hourly. We are doing what it best for our family at the moment, so any support is greatly appreciated. I say this because I feel the most alone I have since this journey has started but I try to think of it as the single footprints in the sand rather than being alone. Jeremy and I always say, “We’ll make it through, we always do.” And I know that will be the case with this journey as well.